Barts’ Short Bursts vol. 2 – from pr0n to chess

I do understand that some of you might puke due to excess of PSP emulation related notes recently, so for some distraction from PMS (PSP eMulation Series), here goes a burst of short news and not-so-news to keep those of you that don’t have a PSP yet out of misery.

First of all, new Saint’s Row 2 downloadable content pack, titled Ultor Exposed, will be starring porn star Tera Patrick. I have to admit having teenage crush on Tera Patrick – ever since seeing Forbidden Tales commercial in CD-Action magazine (don’t ask me how a porn ad got its way into a gaming magazine for teenagers, but it was there). Were it not for hardware requirements of Saint’s Row 2, this DLC would be my day one purchase. Don’t give me this funny look, I’ll rephrase it for you: Tera Patrick. In a game. Nerdgasm.

If you are a retro-freak (like me) and love point’n'click adventure games (unlike me), then this new will be your cup of tea: King’s Quest I, II and Hero Quest II remakes are available for free download from AGDInteractive webpage. I’ll pass, there are too many other things to play and do, but I believe some of you will be very happy to check this.

Before I gotten into computer games, I really enjoyed playing chess. Later on, in the busy times of my high school, studies and work, I only played it very occasionally, but I still prefer a game of chess to a game of cards. There is some elegance in this ancient game not found in poker or others based on chance, there is need to think, analyse, observe, plan and create tactics. There is also some psychology involved, but this part gets lost when playing against computer adversary, which is perhaps why I don’t play chess against computer – totally not knowing what it is thinking (also, I don’t like losing). And this is where Thinking Machine 4 comes into play.

This website allows player not only to play a round of chess online, but also to observe how the artificial inteligence is thinking, how it estimates the probabilty of possible variants and combination of moves. A fascinating spectacle unfold with every move, not only hinting the most probable scenarios, but also creating a pretty web of entangled lines visualising alternative futures. Read more about the project here, play your game here and you may also have a look at the post through which I believe I have found it.

Games’n’ Girls Calendars for 2009

Right about time to shop for a new calendar for 2009 – and what better for a lonely geek than a calendar that combines their two fetishes, games and girls?

I have taken the ungrateful task of finding appropriate products for your viewing pleasure and voila! the results are presented below.

First comes the ever tasty Nerdcore callendar (I still am in love with the girl from 2007 wearing Nintendo Power Glove):

Secondly, gaming site GameOps also has prepared a little something for male gamers, and their choice of ladies is excellent, even if they all look like taken from the same game :

And surprisingly, Russians also have games’n'girls calendars (although in Russia the girl calendar watches you, ba-dum-psh!) and while some photos are not that hot, it still is good enough to provide you with a link to it, if only because of Mario girl:

So there you have it, make your choice ladies and gentlemen, make your choice. Me? I’ll stick to Playboy’s calendar this year, but hush!, don’t tell my girlfriend.

Ah, one more thing. Kind folks from GameOps have assembled a really cool looking video preview of their calendar and I wouldn’t be my usual filthy chauvinist self if I didn’t put it here for you:

So once again – Happy New Year!

Sex in videogames

From the depths of internet comes this lecture on sex in videogames, surprisingly mature and also quite funny:

The author actually makes a couple of valid points, even though last four minutes could be compressed into one. Still, he takes after Yahtzee’s Zero Punctuation, how can you not like this guy?

Also, tits

The flood of PSP titles has recently diminished to a trickling stream and now is reaching drought status. This is going to be my excuse for describing two incoming PSP titles that I am itching to check: Ikkitousen Eloquent Fist and Moe Moe Niji Taisen Deluxe.

The first one looks like a simple scrolling beat’em up game with added RPG elements and “pantsu flashing”. The game’s name contains a pun, since in Engrish “eloquent” becomes “ero-quent” (check here why this is funny to some). Still, graphics are cool even if somewhat NSFW. I think I’m going to give it a try, if only to check whether the actual game part is worth anything (and train my Japanese, of course).

The second one is a mixture of strategy game, World War II and breasts. As much as I don’t think Nazi references should meet with some extreme retaliation unless the context suggests they are being used in their real evil meaning (Nazi propaganda), I also feel a little uneasy about the game with cute little Nazi girls.

I personally can’t forget visiting Japanese izakaya where Iron Cross was hanging on the wall in a central place, right above the little altar. Not that I was angry or anything, but it seemed a little, hmm, tasteless to have Nazi decoration out there. So this game is a little on the risky side for me – but I do not condemn it, it’s only somewhat tasteless entertainment after all.

Nevertheless, now you know what PSP games I am waiting for, having already finished God of War and being stuck in Crisis Core. And I’ve brought it to your attention in order to just signal certain cultural differences in approach to digital entertainment.

Also, tits

The flood of PSP titles has recently diminished to a trickling stream and now is reaching drought status. This is going to be my excuse for describing two incoming PSP titles that I am itching to check: Ikkitousen Eloquent Fist and Moe Moe Niji Taisen Deluxe.

The first one looks like a simple scrolling beat’em up game with added RPG elements and “pantsu flashing”. The game’s name contains a pun, since in Engrish “eloquent” becomes “ero-quent” (check here why this is funny to some). Still, graphics are cool even if somewhat NSFW. I think I’m going to give it a try, if only to check whether the actual game part is worth anything (and train my Japanese, of course).

The second one is a mixture of strategy game, World War II and breasts. As much as I don’t think Nazi references should meet with some extreme retaliation unless the context suggests they are being used in their real evil meaning (Nazi propaganda), I also feel a little uneasy about the game with cute little Nazi girls.

I personally can’t forget visiting Japanese izakaya where Iron Cross was hanging on the wall in a central place, right above the little altar. Not that I was angry or anything, but it seemed a little, hmm, tasteless to have Nazi decoration out there. So this game is a little on the risky side for me – but I do not condemn it, it’s only somewhat tasteless entertainment after all.

Nevertheless, now you know what PSP games I am waiting for, having already finished God of War and being stuck in Crisis Core. And I’ve brought it to your attention in order to just signal certain cultural differences in approach to digital entertainment.

Team Fortress 2. With boobs.

Okay, there are days when others’ creativity leaves me speechless for a moment. I have to admit I didn’t see that coming. If you’re a gamer, then you surely must know Team Fortress 2, right?

The artist that goes under the nickname ghostfire reimagined the female version of the game’s roster. With, ahem, attributes. I mean one can clearly see that these are girls. Of course I like Team Fortress 2 and of course I like… but this?

Now let’s wait for the Rule 34 to take over and… I think I need to lie down.

Team Fortress 2. With boobs.

Okay, there are days when others’ creativity leaves me speechless for a moment. I have to admit I didn’t see that coming. If you’re a gamer, then you surely must know Team Fortress 2, right?

The artist that goes under the nickname ghostfire reimagined the female version of the game’s roster. With, ahem, attributes. I mean one can clearly see that these are girls. Of course I like Team Fortress 2 and of course I like… but this?

Now let’s wait for the Rule 34 to take over and… I think I need to lie down.

The truth about Mortal Kombat

It seems like Shao Kahn wants more from the tournament than just blood of the contestants:

I couldn’t help but smile at “uhh… sexuality!” and “I’m not mad” lines. This probably means I am a pervert, but oh well, I am already long past the denial phase. Enjoy!