Free game, free music – with bonus Beagles

January 24, 2009
I love free things, games and music and I adore Beagles. So this post fuses quite a lot of good things in one, namely a game appropriately called Rescue the Beagles.


It all started with me browsing lists of best free indie games of 2008 (available here). I have ambivalent feelings toward free games, since in general the vast majority of them sucks. Being a cheapskate from the third world country, however, I still occasionally dig into the piles of poo and every now and then dig out a little jewel, such as Every Extend, N or Gnome Carnage for example. I still prefer to go through the lists that someone already sorted for me, lazy bastard that I am.

This time there were not that many titles I cared enough to try, much less play for more than five minutes – nevertheless Rescue the Beagles managed to catch my attention, hold it and provide enough fun not only to play but also to write a post about it, so you can appreciate it as well.


The game, created for procedurally generated content games TIG competition, revolves around, you’re right, rescuing the Beagles (hey, you’re still a great crowd!). There’s some story, if you really must, but the objective is simple – catch all the stray dogs before evil scientists get them.

I like almost everything in Rescue the Beagles, excellent choice of colours, randomly generated levels, minimalist sound effects, sweet retro pixel art, catchy background tune. The only thing I pretty much hate about it is the difficulty level – the game is unforgiving in truly 8-bit spirit. That or I have grown too old for arcade games.

Below you can watch someone playing the game to get an idea what it is all about:

As a cherry on top this cake, the stylish retro soundtrack is totally free. There’s the initiative of creating database of free indie games music and tunes from Rescue the Beagles is one of (so far rather few) game soundtracks available.

Download game music here and the game itself here, you can also check other games by Nenad Jalsovec.


Super Stardust Portable

December 9, 2008
I wanted to play the original Super Stardust from the moment it appeared, but didn’t have PS3, so I had to wait. Some time have passed and while I still don’t have PS3, Super Stardust was ported to PSP, adding Portable to its name. I was thrilled after seeing this trailer:

Now I finally got it and I can safely express my opinion: this thing rocks!

Super Stardust Portable has incredible fun factor that makes me feel like I went back in time and was discovering shoot’em up games in the nearby arcade lounge once again. I actually have never been very good with shmups and don’t recall finishing any of them without cheat codes – but SSD creates in me the long-forgotten feeling of “just one more retry” that I haven’t felt for ages.

In case of most shooters where player has limited lives and saving game is not possible (as opposed to modern FPSes), I get bored and overwhelmed by my clumsiness and difficulty level. Super Stardust Portable makes me swear, curse, cry and eventually go back to try again, as soon as my thumb stops hurting from beating on the fire buttons.


Penny Arcade had this strip on Megaman Effect and I feel quite similarly about Super Stardust, except that the game will not get you funny looks from other adults “oh, he’s playing kiddy stuff”. The music and sounds are rock solid, the main tune makes player feel like a space soldier embarking on a mission to kill aliens (check it here) and the in-game music is fast and catchy, with a retro feel to it. Framerate is silky smooth and action is frenetic without ever slipping into chaos. Wonderful balance of difficulty and gameplay mechanics coupled with excellent graphical presentation (my coworker saw the game and said “wow, I didn’t know PSP could do that”) are a deadly combo.

There are mentions of new gameplay modes and/or levels being released as downloadable content, unfortunately not for free. This would effectively increase the cost of the game. But perhaps we can look at this DLC thing as a bonus for those who love the game (with little extra charge), not as a nasty way of forcing player to pay for game in rates?… Even if not, remember that what I am writing about in this note is a basic version released on PSN – and I still am raving about it.

If you like shooters even in the slightest, then you owe it to yourself to give this game a try. At the cost of ten bucks you have no excuse not to. I played this game at work in the toilet, something that has not happened to me ever since Lumines – I think this goes to prove how addictive Super Stardust Porable is.


ZX Spectrum games bible is out!

August 1, 2008
In communist Poland of the eighties there was one computer magazine (quite popular, actually). It was divided into “clans”: ZX Spectrum clan, Atari clan, Commodore clan, Amstrad clan. Plus game reviews, plus features. I was, of course, ZX Spectrum clan member and I remain one ever since.

Why do I even mention it? Because a book with ZX Spectrum games’ reviews is out right now and I have contributed a review to it as well.


The project is called ZX Spectrum Games Bible, and while not the first one, it seems to strive to be the most complete one so far. There are of course online lists of best ZX Spectrum games (such as this one – great read!), but you know, a book is a book.

I learnt about it from Retro Gamer magazine I was reading at Heathrow airport, contacted the author and finally ended up writing one of many, many, many reviews included in it. Most of my favourite games were already taken, but I have found one game I have known under different name: Panama Joe, which I have come to know under the alias Montezuma’s Revenge (you can play it in your browser on World of Spectrum). This is the excerpt from the review:

Today Panama Joe may seem simplistic, repetitive and hard as hell, but back in 1984 it was an epic adventure allowing players to experience the struggle with the dangers of Aztec pyramid and as such it deserves a place in the heart of every 8-bit veteran out there.

You can buy the book here. If you do, please let me know – it will definitely boost my ego.


The Portal phenomenon

June 4, 2008

It definitely took me some time before I finally played Portal and I wanted to do this ever since I saw this great trailer:

Now I know why everybody over the tubes have been raving about it: in short, because it’s brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Other than interesting game mechanics, which actually didn’t get to me that much, it has a great narrative and one of the best villains ever- GladOS.

In a nutshell, player becomes a young woman caught in an experiment facility, who has to perform different tests using Aperture Science device creating portals. As a test subject, the girl is guided by the omni-present AI (GladOS) with wonderfully distorted female voice and an attitude that could be best described as somewhat deranged. She is both a narrator to some extent, as well as both enemy and companion, it gives player orders, sets rules, tells the story, mocks and teases, promises and deceives – in short, it sets the atmosphere of the game.

There are three pillars to Portal’s success, each spectacularly executed: audio, story and gameplay. The first one is composed of the best AI voice ever together with one of the most wicked ending song up to date (not to mention other excellent sounds). The second is one of the greatest narratives I have seen in a computer game during last couple of years. The third is the game mechanics – mind-bending portal puzzles in hazardous 3D space.

Penny Arcade summed it up perfectly in this comic strip:


No wonder even Yahtzee of Zero Punctuation reviews loves it. The sheer brilliance of this game has resulted in fan-arts, some darn funny, some touching, some kinda risky, some including crossover and some a bit obnoxious.

The best part for me (and I assume many others) was the voice of omnipresent and seemingly omnipotent deity – GladOS. Just like in Manhunt, where main hero is led by a voice of snuff movie maker, who switches between being roles of compassionate guide and cruel torturer, who taunts, teases and comments protagonist’s actions, so does GladOS put Chell into harder and harder tests, gives information (“In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance, the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.“), which is sometimes warped, mocks her actions later in the game. The writing of GladOS lines is nothing short of brilliant – you can read it on Wikiquote, but without the context it is somewhat similar to reading a movie script.

After trying to kill Chell at some point, this strange relation becomes much more threatening and climaxes during the game’s finale, where two female minds engage in a fight. Delightfully surreal scene is further amplified by GladOS torrent of deranged speech (“killing you and giving you good advice aren’t mutually exclusive“), which she sputters like a being possessed by a demon, altering between smooth sweet voice and spitting threats. You can watch the scene here, but be aware that there are spoilers and the effect is not as powerful without knowing the whole story that has led to that point.


Speaking of the story and ambiance, the narrative is led in a great way, leading some people to overanalyse it. What’s actually interesting is that the story, GladOS and sinister atmosphere of the abandoned experimental facility run by deranged AI was something that resulted from time constraints and actually was not a part of initial design – you can read more about it here.

The icing on this delightful cake (pun intended) is the ending song, “Still Alive”. Unfortunately, it’s not funny at all without first completing the game (duh). There exist many weird renditions of the song and I heartily recommend having a look at them, because some are really hilarious.

In short – if by any chance you have missed this game and you dare call yourself a gamer, you simply must buy it and play it. The sheer amount of songs, jokes, images and cake references this game introduced to the general public is a testament to its greatness. I didn’t expect it when I first started playing Portal, but this is one of these games.

Valve, I take my hat off to you.


The Portal phenomenon

June 4, 2008

It definitely took me some time before I finally played Portal and I wanted to do this ever since I saw this great trailer:

Now I know why everybody over the tubes have been raving about it: in short, because it’s brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Other than interesting game mechanics, which actually didn’t get to me that much, it has a great narrative and one of the best villains ever- GladOS.

In a nutshell, player becomes a young woman caught in an experiment facility, who has to perform different tests using Aperture Science device creating portals. As a test subject, the girl is guided by the omni-present AI (GladOS) with wonderfully distorted female voice and an attitude that could be best described as somewhat deranged. She is both a narrator to some extent, as well as both enemy and companion, it gives player orders, sets rules, tells the story, mocks and teases, promises and deceives – in short, it sets the atmosphere of the game.

There are three pillars to Portal’s success, each spectacularly executed: audio, story and gameplay. The first one is composed of the best AI voice ever together with one of the most wicked ending song up to date (not to mention other excellent sounds). The second is one of the greatest narratives I have seen in a computer game during last couple of years. The third is the game mechanics – mind-bending portal puzzles in hazardous 3D space.

Penny Arcade summed it up perfectly in this comic strip:


No wonder even Yahtzee of Zero Punctuation reviews loves it. The sheer brilliance of this game has resulted in fan-arts, some darn funny, some touching, some kinda risky, some including crossover and some a bit obnoxious.

The best part for me (and I assume many others) was the voice of omnipresent and seemingly omnipotent deity – GladOS. Just like in Manhunt, where main hero is led by a voice of snuff movie maker, who switches between being roles of compassionate guide and cruel torturer, who taunts, teases and comments protagonist’s actions, so does GladOS put Chell into harder and harder tests, gives information (“In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance, the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.“), which is sometimes warped, mocks her actions later in the game. The writing of GladOS lines is nothing short of brilliant – you can read it on Wikiquote, but without the context it is somewhat similar to reading a movie script.

After trying to kill Chell at some point, this strange relation becomes much more threatening and climaxes during the game’s finale, where two female minds engage in a fight. Delightfully surreal scene is further amplified by GladOS torrent of deranged speech (“killing you and giving you good advice aren’t mutually exclusive“), which she sputters like a being possessed by a demon, altering between smooth sweet voice and spitting threats. You can watch the scene here, but be aware that there are spoilers and the effect is not as powerful without knowing the whole story that has led to that point.


Speaking of the story and ambiance, the narrative is led in a great way, leading some people to overanalyse it. What’s actually interesting is that the story, GladOS and sinister atmosphere of the abandoned experimental facility run by deranged AI was something that resulted from time constraints and actually was not a part of initial design – you can read more about it here.

The icing on this delightful cake (pun intended) is the ending song, “Still Alive”. Unfortunately, it’s not funny at all without first completing the game (duh). There exist many weird renditions of the song and I heartily recommend having a look at them, because some are really hilarious.

In short – if by any chance you have missed this game and you dare call yourself a gamer, you simply must buy it and play it. The sheer amount of songs, jokes, images and cake references this game introduced to the general public is a testament to its greatness. I didn’t expect it when I first started playing Portal, but this is one of these games.

Valve, I take my hat off to you.


A different Patapon review

March 17, 2008
Everybody seems to be in love with Patapon – today I will play devil’s advocate and provide votum separatum.


The game is a curious and novel mix of strategy and rhythm game. The player is put in the role of a deity of a tribe of little one-eyed creatures, Patapons. The tribe’s past glory is long gone and it desperately needs the help of their god to lead them back to the promised land. Issuing orders to Patapons is done by tapping different combos on the buttons – the music then commands the little warriors, who chant, follow order and wait for the next one. Simple? Indeed, even too so.

When I had the chance to first play Patapon during Tokyo Game Show, I was not really impressed. It seemed to me that the game is too simple, not in terms of difficulty, but game rules. Being able to issue only two commands to our troops (attack or advance) with the only thrill resulting from potentially missing the rhythm was not enough to spark my interest. Nevertheless, I promised myself to spare it my critique until I get to play the full version.


Having played the full version, which indeed does add a lot to the table, I must say that my opinion has not change much. While there are many things that have been added to the full version, such as army management, creating new Patapons, choosing which mission to undertake, as well as the whole story aspect and plentiful of adversaries and missions, the core of the gameplay remains exactly the same with the number of possible commands changed from two to four.

And this is the main problem I have with the game – the fact that there are but four commands. As much as the story is interesting and Patapons cute (army management aspect leaves in indifferent), the tactical choices present in the game are not enough for me. I get bored tapping the same rhythm combos time and time again. I never was particularly good with rhythm games (I fail epically at DJ Max Portable). So perhaps the reason for my frustration is getting beaten by enemies, only because my tap was split second late, but personally, I find the core gameplay very repetitive and it puts me off this game.


Overall, Patapon is not by all means a bad game, but it definitely isn’t for everyone and it hasn’t really struck the chord with me. Some will fall in love with it, some will hate it, I am just left indifferent. While I would really like to see how Patapon’s tribe story ends, I don’t find it enjoyable enough to spend the time of my life smashing button to endlessly repeat four combos, occasionally shouting profanities when I miss the rhythm.

Strong points:
- price – with 19.99$ price tag, anyone pirating this game should be ashamed;
- presentation – very stylish and perfectly animated;
- story – fresh and original, told from interesting perspective;
- army management – allowing a lot of possible combinations;
- quirky charm – it’s hard to deny that Patapons have a lot of cute personality;

Weak points:
- repetitive – not enough combo variations to really feel in charge of the small army;
- difficulty – gets quite hard later in the game;
- sometimes it’s hard to guess what to do next;


A different Patapon review

March 17, 2008
Everybody seems to be in love with Patapon – today I will play devil’s advocate and provide votum separatum.


The game is a curious and novel mix of strategy and rhythm game. The player is put in the role of a deity of a tribe of little one-eyed creatures, Patapons. The tribe’s past glory is long gone and it desperately needs the help of their god to lead them back to the promised land. Issuing orders to Patapons is done by tapping different combos on the buttons – the music then commands the little warriors, who chant, follow order and wait for the next one. Simple? Indeed, even too so.

When I had the chance to first play Patapon during Tokyo Game Show, I was not really impressed. It seemed to me that the game is too simple, not in terms of difficulty, but game rules. Being able to issue only two commands to our troops (attack or advance) with the only thrill resulting from potentially missing the rhythm was not enough to spark my interest. Nevertheless, I promised myself to spare it my critique until I get to play the full version.


Having played the full version, which indeed does add a lot to the table, I must say that my opinion has not change much. While there are many things that have been added to the full version, such as army management, creating new Patapons, choosing which mission to undertake, as well as the whole story aspect and plentiful of adversaries and missions, the core of the gameplay remains exactly the same with the number of possible commands changed from two to four.

And this is the main problem I have with the game – the fact that there are but four commands. As much as the story is interesting and Patapons cute (army management aspect leaves in indifferent), the tactical choices present in the game are not enough for me. I get bored tapping the same rhythm combos time and time again. I never was particularly good with rhythm games (I fail epically at DJ Max Portable). So perhaps the reason for my frustration is getting beaten by enemies, only because my tap was split second late, but personally, I find the core gameplay very repetitive and it puts me off this game.


Overall, Patapon is not by all means a bad game, but it definitely isn’t for everyone and it hasn’t really struck the chord with me. Some will fall in love with it, some will hate it, I am just left indifferent. While I would really like to see how Patapon’s tribe story ends, I don’t find it enjoyable enough to spend the time of my life smashing button to endlessly repeat four combos, occasionally shouting profanities when I miss the rhythm.

Strong points:
- price – with 19.99$ price tag, anyone pirating this game should be ashamed;
- presentation – very stylish and perfectly animated;
- story – fresh and original, told from interesting perspective;
- army management – allowing a lot of possible combinations;
- quirky charm – it’s hard to deny that Patapons have a lot of cute personality;

Weak points:
- repetitive – not enough combo variations to really feel in charge of the small army;
- difficulty – gets quite hard later in the game;
- sometimes it’s hard to guess what to do next;


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